Believing, Loving and Hurling.

Christianity….to me.

A Christian is a person who believes God sent his son to die on the cross for the sins of all of US…to save us from ourselves, to give us an opportunity to live a life that glorifies Him by loving others, doing unto others, sharing His love and sacrifice and  being doers of the Word.  Basically being a Christian is believing, feeling, loving and doing.  Perhaps sometimes we come across as arrogant because we know the truth, and in our frustration we wonder why NOT everyone wants to know that same truth.  Speaking for my own “Christian” self I know my life probably doesn’t scream out “Christian” at every turn…I wish it did, I think.   Being perfect and sinless would be, well; perfect…but it wouldn’t be human and real. 

 All the faults I own are part of my deep, brilliant and unique relationship with Christ…if I were perfect, would I even feel like needed Him?   I am burdened like most people, Christian and non-Christian alike but I know my strength in Christ outweighs my weaknesses....my worldly flesh.    I am forever asking God to give me His words, His softness when I speak and although I will continue to  reach for those words to come out of my mouth I also know that God created me…He created me to be outgoing, to speak my mind, to debate issues I feel strongly about, He created me with this tongue that sometimes thinks it’s funny when maybe it really isn’t, this whiny voice that emerges when I want to get my own way and this face that squints and twists up when I’m mad.    This is me, a Christian woman who loves the people in her life with a love that NOBODY can touch, a Christian woman who goes over and beyond because of that love, a Christian woman who is so forgiving and empathetic I can’t hold tears back when someone hurts, even a someone I don’t know.   There are so many dynamics that make each of us, we all have strongholds, limitations and disadvantages but we also have strength, arms that reach and grasp and meet our goals, and advantages that others don’t have…talents and skills  We are ALL worth the love of Christ, the sacrifice of Christ and the agape’ love of Christ…not one of us is the same, better or more worthy than the other, not one of us are more deserving or more precious.   We all have different viewpoints and insights, what is significant to me may not be to the Christian who lives down the road, what is of value to me may not be to the person who sits in the pew next to me on Sundays….but I know this, I know that there IS something of value to that person, something significant for reasons that apply to that person’s life. 

 

Thank you God that you know me, you know my name…you forgive me over and over again…thank you God that being a Christian doesn’t mean being perfect, thank you that I can laugh and joke and neither you nor I always take me seriously, thank you for my family who loves me in spite of myself, Thank you God that when my action don’t glorify your name my heart is convicted.Thank you God that I can relax and be humble, that I’ve learned over the years what I need to change and what I can leave alone. 

Thank you Lord, that growing in your grace and mercy has taught me to stop being so hard on myself and more importantly to stop being so hard on others….thank you that I’ve learned how to forgive myself and enjoy my life without carrying that plank around.   There are absolutes in our world and then there are those other things that I don’t want to make time for, those things that are between you and someone else, not you and I.

Being a Christian is a warm, gentle, loving, forgiving feeling that comes from loving a perfect God and His perfect Son and being convicted by a perfect Holy Spirit.   Being a Christian is feeling a rush of gratitude and thankfulness when you’re picking wild blueberries with your son and his girlfriend while at the same time being frustrated that your husband is eating them and NOT filling the bucket!   Being loved by a Christian is going fishing on a choppy lake, hurling over the boat, crabbing and blaming your husband and being able to laugh about it the next day. 

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. --- 1 Peter 4:8 “

Facing the Giants

I was just watching “Facing the Giants.”  

I was taken back to a time when my grandpa told me that anyone can pray “thanks”  to God AFTER a prayers been answered but it takes someone with real faith to pray thanks before it’s been answered.  I now pray “Thank you Lord for answered prayers” when I have a request.   God has never failed me; my faith in him is unfaltering.   His timing isn’t always my timing of course, but He has shown me that His word is true.   He has brought his Scripture to light in my life.   Ask, Believe and Receive.   I'm sure I wrote a blog about these feelings before...but I don't care...sometimes you just want to shout it from the mountain top.   There are no mountains in Lake of the Woods, Minnesota.

I am so thankful for my life and for all my treasures.   He’s gifted me with a peace and a calm when I see troubled waters.  Sometimes it takes me a minute……but He always calms me and reminds me.   He’s gifted me with a husband who balances me….a husband who whistles while he works, a husband who teaches me many, many things and loves me in spite of my sometimes overly passionate nature.   

I’m love struck by three amazing children, who are learning to live in a world not controlled by God, but instead by temptations and lies.   I’ve been taught how to lift them up to Jesus and to pray the Holy Spirit over them….so they might hear God’s voice over the craziness around them.   For this child I pray.

My heart has been melted like sweet white chocolate by my grandsons….a love that cannot be explained, only experienced.   I cover them in the blood of Jesus and pray for their future and that they would know God’s love and Mercy as well as what it means to live to serve a Loving God.

My cup runneth over with extended family….blood and otherwise.   I am thankful and extend my prayers to cover them also, I vow to God to always be a prayer warrior for those I love and for those who don’t know the love of Christ.

I pray in faith for my mother who I know gets frustrated with me but loves me still

I don’t want to miss a beat…I don’t want one day to go by that I don’t praise God from whom all blessings flow….I don’t want to forget what it was like when life was hard, or sad or lonely….because it reminds me that My God is an awesome God….It reminds me about joy…about the very vivid moment when I felt the difference in being happy and having joy in my heart….that was a gift God gave me when I was beating myself up pretty bad a long, long time ago.    

I want to glorify the Lord by my actions…I know I fall short and sometimes I’m pulled in by the world.....but I’m quickly reminded it’s the devil who owns this earthy world and I don’t want any part of that.   That doesn't mean I'm a prude...I'm just like you, and you and you and you....I'm actually funny...maybe even hilarious.   Okay, maybe I'm not, but I think I must be because I crack myself up.   Anyway, getting back on my pulpit....that was a joke, (see?  Told you.  funny.) Like an old friend of mine says “Where do you want to get your stuff from, God or Satan?”    

Come on, raise your hand....it's an easy question.  (funny again)

There are things here that really matter….but what matters most is what happens AFTER here.

Don't face your giants alone.

Wisdom

Wisdom comes with growing older…Changing courses, promises not made lightly, opinions becoming positions, pretty looks different, only genuine people in my life, giving feels better than taking, swallowing unwanted advice, healing isn’t always physical, words are bigger and wisdom fills my head and my heart. Two becoming one actually happens, being passionate matters, thankfulness becomes a part of every day. Wind still amazes me but so does stained glass and clean sheets. Killdeers are little messages from God to nudge unbelievers, as are snapping turtles and canoeing down the St. Croix with the love of your life.


Growing older makes everything comes a little bit easier. Trust and love for sure. Knowing what makes a relationship work and what makes a marriage great. Putting others before yourself, praying with and for each other, having a someone when you feel like you don’t deserve anyone. Words spoken matter, you can’t take them back so make them good ones.  Growing older with the person you love most in this world makes life even happier, I don't think I realized that when I was younger....I do now.  Thank you Jesus.

Growing older brings perspective changes…. things break, flowers die but giving someone “happy” lasts. Laughing feels different, wild blueberries are another gift from God, touching means more and so does ‘I love you, mom.” Simple things are good things…dinner together, big marshmallows, vegetable gardens, planted peanuts, big pumpkins, lunch with the girls, rain feels as good as sunshine. Muddy children, family becomes closer but blood really isn’t thicker than water…genuine people make good friends, separating yourself from the junk, embracing days with laughter and wishing good things for everyone, not caring if someone else has more or better…feeling blessed with what you have, who you have and who you are.

Growing older…it’s like looking through a crystal ball. Even wisdom appears different to me. I see things and know things. I could save my grown children so much unrest, but then when their babies grow up they won’t have this same inner wisdom, and without it they may not know the importance of covering their children in the blood of Jesus. It’s a priceless thing to know when you’re children are walking on a wire.  The prayers of a faithful parent may keep them from falling….too hard.

I’m older, I’m wiser, I’m in love, I’m passionate, I’m slightly crazy but I appreciated deeper and my love is bottomless, my heart is fuller and my life is overflowing. I guess I don't mind growing older if wisdom is a perk.

My Husband

My husband:



He’s kind, considerate, unassuming….happy, positive, loving and loved. He’s respectable, humble, modest and decent…Selfless, empathetic, generous and nurturing.

He always greets me with a cheerful “Hey Baby!” His love for Christ is immense and his love for me has no conditions. He lifts those he loves in prayer; daily keeping his daughter covered in the blood of Jesus, laying her at the foot of the cross….keeping a quiet strength, faithfully believing she is in God’s hands. His love is engulfing.


He remembers, plans, and surprises….he connects, forgives, and knows when to step back. He’s a loyal father, grandfather, son, brother, friend and businessman…he is devoted to his wife, his family and his Lord.


He doesn’t brag or boast or pretend he’s something he’s not….he likes who he is and thanks God for who and what he has. He’s a man of honor and integrity; he’s reputable and dedicated to his work.


He values his step-son and daughter and cherishes his grandsons. He is proof that a step father and step son can have an unbreakable bond. He loves my children and grandchildren, thinks about them and looks forward to their visits. He calls my mom “ma” and can’t understand a word my grandma says. He laughs when he’s nervous, and holds me tight when he’s sad. He misses his daughter and wonders what happened to his best friend.


He’ll always have your back and he’ll tell you what he thinks only if you want to know or care to listen. He minds his own business and stands firm on principle.


He’s an old soul with a luminous heart….he’s unhurried, even tempered, and always constant…he whistles while he works and never misses an opportunity to wink at me or say “Hey, I like you, ya know.”….he’s sweet, comical and his quick wit can be side splitting.


He’s my soul mate, my love, my rock…he makes me happy and he believes in me.

He’s my husband.

Do good!

“Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people” Galations 6:10.


I can honestly say this verse is something I consciously work on everyday. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dissected Galations 6:10. I know it seems self explanatory but then why isn’t it easier? “All people” means “All people”. Helping, listening, offering, forgiving, NOT gossiping, understanding….I believe when God says “as we have opportunity” also means “make an effort” because we’re human, sometimes we struggle with who the person is, or what the person needs. But no matter how big the struggle is…God’s command stays the same “…let us do good to all people.”

We all have people in our lives who create chaos and drama at every turn, those who use us, don’t appreciate us and some who just simply treat us like dirt….God’s command stays the same “…let us do good to all people.” Why is it so hard...or is it?

I do believe it’s okay to separate yourself from those people who suck the life out of you, and maybe the only good thing you can muster up is to lift them up in prayer. Well good for you because that’s the opportunity you ALWAYS have!

Easter is upon us. That man who died on the cross…the one you call your Savior…He had an opportunity to do good to all people. What would have happened to us if he declined because of who we are or what we need.? God’s command always stays the same. In honor of Christ’s sacrifice, in gratitude of our forgiven sins…because of principle, admiration, respect, privilege, reverence, because God loves us unconditionally, because Christ died to give us eternal life, because He rose again like he said He would...for those reasons do good to all people, you ALWAYS have the opportunity.

Snow days and painted faces.

I think it’s so funny I moved up here near the Canadian border and everyone South of me is getting dumped on!!! HA! HA! You guys down there have had way more snow than we have and it’s been just as cold where you live! Cracks me up.   Lyndi just sent me a picture of her “Spring snow pile” but it is March and I can’t remember a March when Minnesotans didn’t get unloaded on from above! She also sent me pictures depicting what her and the boys are doing on their snow day….I mailed them some face paint last week….they are obviously amusing themselves.



Jay came up on Monday, he and Kevin have been fishing while I work…how is that fair you ask, well it isn’t. I do, however; get my grandboys for a few days. Kevin is going to pick them up Friday afternoon and I’m hoping I can leave a few hours early. I always miss them but then there are those times I more than miss them and I physically need to spend time with them if I want my wellbeing to remain undamaged. Unless you’re a grandparent this would make no sense to you. I have a third and breathtaking grandson that I’ve kind of reconciled myself to not seeing as often as I do my other two. I pray I’m wrong and that someday they will move a few hours closer but until that happens or Incase it doesn’t I will be in “grandparent package mode”, because grandma’s can actually wrap and package love through the mail,


Kevin and I were givin’ a blessing last night, an opportunity to help someone out…I wish I could bottle up that feeling and pass it around. I believe it could be a cure all for many “entitled” people. Nothing makes you feel as good as when you put someone else and their needs before your own…it’s even more effective when you leave your comfort zone. That’s not the reason to put ourselves out there though, we should all have a moral compass and do it for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do. We’ve all needed the support and comfort of others and we’ve all felt the whoosh of relief when someone steps up to alleviate us from our dilemma. Well I have anyway…many times, and whenever I’m able to pay it forward I leap at the prospect. My heart becomes instantly convicted, I’m able to put myself in that person’s shoes and see a reflection of myself at the same time. I flash back to all the people in my life who were generous with their hearts. One of my “changed my life” memories was given to me by a girl I worked with years ago. She offered to rescue me from a horrible financial bind I was in, I declined because I was too proud. She later came up to me, put the money in my hand and said “Don’t you dare rob me of this blessing.” I learned humility, grace and benevolence all in one minute…I already knew “gratefulness” because I had a good mom who tucked my moral compass somewhere I could easily grasp it. I was changed that day.


So yeah, grandsons love snow days and painted faces, March always brings more white stuff, moral compasses work, reflection keeps us in check and helping someone out when you’re able is what the good life is all about this week….oh, and there’s more, bake off contests and chair massages at work, getting destroyed playing marbles after supper (right, Jay?!) and being able to smile while you’re at work and your husband and someday son in law are fishing…this week has gotten off to a good start.

Colors

She's gone.

I've been trying to find something I can take from Kelli's death that I can use for good. Everytime I think I stumble across something I get a vision of her two children who have been left behind...her mother who will be burying her....my pain, my emptiness can't even sit next to the brokeness they feel. How do you shed light on something so dark?

I was talking to my mom this afternoon...something she said helped me to find a little bit of bright in this never ending tunnel of loss. After I hung up with her I sat in my car with God, I asked forgiveness....in a different way, with a different heart...I begged him to wash me clean as snow. I'm not going to harbor ill feelings towards anyone anymore. I no longer want to carry the burden of what other people do or don't do... I no longer want to lose sleep over the choices of others. I have my own crosses to bear and I don't need to bear anyone elses. I want to make sure I'm in right standing with my Lord and my loved ones. There's no one I haven't forgiven...I just have to step aside from those who won't forgive me. Saying things liked "life is short" sounds so cliche', yet nothing is more true. I want to purge myself of anything that will keep me tied down.

Kelli had her own struggles....like all of us do, She had her own successes and her own heartfelt story. Kelli was personable and smiley. She laughed alot, joked around and she was someone who understood what others went through...her judgement of others was weighed carefully...she knew what it was like to not be perfect. Kelli was someone I looked forward to seeing at family functions....she cracked me up all the time....there may be no color in her death but her life poured out reds, pinks and yellows....she kept her blues quiet. Her colors burst in her children...bright, beautiful, loving and loved.

I was pretty close to Kelli when we were younger....then you grow up and live your own lives, running into eachother during weddings, family picnics and funerals....these past few years, I started knowing her again....all of us cousins re-connected...you will be so missed, beyond what you ever imagined. I just re-read the thread from one of the pictures from my grandma's 90th birthday party....cousin chat...once again I cracked up...only this time through tears.

When a young mother dies it's hard to find color...everything is so dreary, but ya know if God chose to open His arms and welcome her home then that means He has a "rest of the plan" out there...out here...and someone is going to be touched by that plan. I hope Kelli's leaving was meant to keep someone here...maybe not in a physical sense but in a "my life has been changed" sense.

We will all be okay...the timing will be different for all of us, but God really is closest to the brokenhearted....and I take refuge in knowing that