Favorite things

Peace on earth, giving back, love and family…Silent night, snowflakes, a baby boy and a Savior. Candy canes, excitement, anticipation, a birthday and a hope. Glory to God in the highest…Trees, stars and angels. Laps, sacks, wise men and a manger…carolers, nativities, lights and red stockings. A singing snowman, beards and ho ho ho’s. I believe…you’ll shoot your eye out and every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings . Benevolence, mittens and hats, pretty paper and my Redeemer. Snowballs…real and glass, reindeer made from clothespins, baking, sharing and red bows. Joy, jingle bells, sleighs and grandparents. Little children, footie jammies, milk and cookies and blinking red noses. “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.”


These are a few of my favorite things

I voted!

I can’t remember a midterm election that felt this important. I don’t just feel like it’s my responsibility or my right to vote….this time I feel like I’m doing my part in trying to save our Country for my grandchildren…I want them to have strong morals and the self satisfaction of a good work ethic ..I want them to live in a Country whose "values contribute positively to society".  As far as I know there are three kinds of governments in this world...monarchies, dictatorships and democracies.  I want my grandchildren to live in a Country where democracy rules.  I know I’m only one vote, I happen to believe every vote counts. I could never justify not voting….It amazes me that people will vote for contestants on American Idol or Dancing with the Stars…or they get their feathers ruffled over sports and celebrities but the direction our Country is headed isn’t worth 5 minutes at the Polls. I’m a very conservative Independent but it’s still important to me that every single liberal makes the future of the United States they’re priority…not just on election day but hopefully before that. I look at policies and past records when I vote…but a persons character, morals, values…a person’s honesty and integrity speaks loudest. Dancing with the Stars is on tonight…I can’t wait to see who gets voted off…much like I feel right now about this election.

Always aware

Sometimes a day goes by and here at home, nothing out of the ordinary happens except the awareness of how my life is brimming with a peace that’s hard to put into words. A day where I’m immersed in everything good…laughter, big smiles, and joy in my heart. When, even though I’m so far from family and friends I can still hear and feel their lives going on. I can still smell the scent of a newborn baby joining our family, the cool air as my daughter hunts squirrels, pride when one child puts her families needs before their wishes, a chuckle when my son texts me about something funny his dog did. “Guess what grandma“ phone calls, “I‘m putting on my wedding dress now“ phone calls and both happy and tearful phone calls to my mom. Funny dress up pictures of my nephew, instant messages from my step-daughter, excitement in my Aunt’s voice...all these far away but so close connections are a huge part of what keeps me happy, mixed with spending face to face catch up time with old friends and new friends, being closely connected with my in-laws down the road, out of town company, hunting, fishing, canning, writing, gardening, and ranger rides. My life being crested with an emotional, physical, spiritual and mental love poured over me by my husband in this lovely place where the sky is a little bit lower, the birds song a little bit sweeter, where the first thing you see when you walk outside is God’s majesty. This has to be a gift that I’m so not worthy of….but will continue to accept graciously, always being aware and thankful and always trying to give back what I’m so happy to feel.

He is....

You are amazing, you are real, you are mine…you are right, you are never wrong.  You are all, you are vast, you are needed, wanted, hoped for...you are forever.  You are complete, you are billowing, you are lasting.  You are pink, blue, yellow……you are color.  You are smiles and laughter, you are forgiveness.  You are clean, pure...like marshmallows and soap.  You are praised, worshipped….., you are worthy.  You are swirls, chocolate and strawberry...you are thunder and rain…hearts and spirit, you are the wind on my face, butterfly wings….you are creation.  You are all knowing, everlasting and protecting.  You are feelings...you cause happy tears, love filled hearts immersed in joy….you are grace, mercy...happiness, you are peace and truth.  You are desired…you are light...you are willing, waiting,...you are giving.   You are immense, you are loving and you are arms that hold.  You are patient, kind. and understanding.  You are a song…..I am singing…..you are delivering and because of you...I am deliverd!

We the people............

I'm adding to a  blurb I wrote almost 2 years ago, with November around the corner and the frustration I feel I wanted to post it again.  I'm very  proud to be a politically conservative woman, even more so when I talk to liberals because they don't make much sense to me.  It's ironic that alot of them hate the same things I do but yet they keep voting for the people who make those things happen. I just want to cock my head and ask them what in the hell they're thinking!  It feels like we're losing our Country and all it stands for, I know I'm not going to agree with everything the elected ones are doing or will do, but I would at the very least like to say I  respect them and trust them to have everyone's best interest at heart.  I'm tired of our leader blaming Bush, republicans, FOX...or anyone else who disagrees with him...man up and take some ownership...hear us and work for us...after all "WE...are the people."

We all listen, compare issues, characters, trustworthiness, and then debate with others who's going to be the best Politician….not the RIGHT one…the best.  We can argue politics til we’re blue in the face but in the end it all comes down to one thing, and that one thing is different for everyone. It may be healthcare, the war in Iraq, the economy, immigration, or gay marriage, it may be a number of things…there is always something that is dear to our heart for personal reasons. I've been told that the wise thing to do is to separate our heart from the big picture, I'm not sure that we should separate our heart stuff…our moral compass…our emotional being…from the big picture….I mean "We the people" are just that....people…and people are all about human emotions…right and wrong. We make judgment calls everyday…good choices, bad choices, but at the end of the day we are faced with what that day held for us…"We the people" We pay the consequences for our rightness or wrongness. We can let our heads lead us…let information lead us…let friends and family sway us…but in most cases, before we make a decision…before we even start to mull over the peaks and valleys of our choice…we already know the answer…I can't help but believe that if we all voted our conscience and forgot about the lesser of two evils…forgot about the big picture and focused on the here and now…the moment…the heart moment…we actually might end up with the right person in office. Face it, all the hoopla, the coverage, rallies and debates…it's all about being a politician, who can say the best thing the best way…with the right amount of confidence and conviction, who can turn things they've done or haven't done around to make themselves look better than they are….but we know who they are…we all know who they are.

My "in the end, dear to my heart for personal reasons" is the abortion issue, it‘s not my only issue and it‘s not my only important issue, but it is my moral compass issue. The majority of us "pro-lifers" know it isn't ideal to have congress decide what a woman can and cannot do with her own body…but the alternative is to keep killing more babies and that just isn’t something I’m okay with. I respect the choices of women…I just think that someone has to stand up…stand behind…fight for….the women who haven't been born yet. We’re all on the same page….we all want life….the only real difference is the women that are here now can voice their feelings, but the babies, the daughters, the little girls…(and of course all the little boys) who aren't here, need someone else to have a voice for them.

So what I’m saying is that even if Obama and his cronies started making sense…to me, I just can’t make myself vote for someone who cares more about an illegal immigrant than he does a defenseless baby. I want to live in a Country with a strong Christian at the helm…shoot me for being sooooo closed minded but that’s important to me and I believe it’s suppose to be.

Yoked

If you've been in both an unequally yoked relationship and a "yoked" one, (is that even a real word...lol)....you can feel how remarkable the difference is. I used to wonder if it really mattered all that much, I no longer wonder…believe me, it matters.


When you’re on the same page spiritually, you come together for all the right reasons. You’re not trading in the other good things, love, passion, zeal, comfort, friendship, you’re just more equipped to have a forever marriage. You tend to work on things differently, you put your faith into the same God so the understanding between the two of you is cosmic. You build a connection based on something solid, a foundation built on higher ground. You seek affirmations from the same source, you know when and how to lift your spouse up, when your spouse needs prayer, and you know how to pray for one another. You pray together, which is absolutely the closest thing two people can share, you’re bare in the most intimate way,

I believe there is more than one reason God calls for us to be equally yoked, not only because one can pull the other one away from God…I think it’s because He knows the strength your relationship will have if you both allow Him to guide it. He knows how victorious you will be as a couple. In this day, the day of divorce…more people need to be champions in their marriage. I found equally yoked…I really wanted it and I would have stayed alone if I couldn’t have found it. I owe finding the love of my life to God and I’m thankful beyond measure.

Peggy

I really miss Peggy.


She was a combination of both my friend and my Aunt. She was the only one in my family other than my grandfather who I connected with in a inspirational way. She loved God, had a personal relationship with Jesus and she loved babies. She married her high school sweetheart…the love of her life. She valued family and loved to cook, sew and play canasta. She lost her baby at 3 weeks old…she lost a piece of her already damaged heart. She had a love she needed and wanted to share so she adopted 4 children in the years that followed. She wanted to give each of them a new beginning, a life that stood out, something better...I believe she needed to save them...maybe because she couldn't save her own or maybe because loving them saved her. She was sick, she rarely felt good, she tired easily. She taught me things about marriage and forgiveness and during her last days she taught me about faith and strength. Some days I miss her so much my eyes well up with tears and it's hard to stop crying.

Her daughter is getting married next month…the same daughter who called me in tears when she was 11 and discovered she had her period…sobbing uncontrollably because she wanted her mom. I want to be at the wedding but it’s very far away and I can’t swing it….I almost feel like I’m letting Peggy down, I love her daughter like I love my own.

I really miss Peggy

"By his stripes we are healed" Isaiah 53:4-5

There’s this thing about me and sometimes it upsets people. I’m not afraid to speak up when my feelings or beliefs differ than someone else’s….standing my ground…even when I’m standing alone. I take ownership of what I’ve caused, I know what I need to work on and I know what I’ve worked on enough. I see beauty in odd things…there are more things I like about myself than I dislike…I’m learning to accept the differences in people… actually respecting and growing from those differences. The biggest thing I notice about myself is that I love people in a deeper more genuine way…seeing people for who they really are and wanting them to see the real me….as I grow older I don’t squander my time on people who treat me badly or talk behind my back…I just pray for them.


I had a conversation with someone today….we debated about a phrase, a metaphor, in my opinion “ a misleading interpretation”. I was reminded of a scenario a few years back where I stayed quiet a time I felt God wanted me to speak up. I had gone to a Bible Study with Lyndi, she asked me the week prior if I would go with her on Wednesday evenings. I didn’t hesitate. I’m careful about what Bible studies I attend because I’m particular about who’s teaching me, I knew there were going to be things the leader said I wasn’t going to agree with so I prepared myself to stay still and prayed that I would be given something to apply to my life during this hour and more importantly Lyndi would walk away with an even bigger hunger for God’s Word.

What I went home with was a lesson I will never forget. That night I prayed for a woman in the study who the leader said was dying from lung cancer….she looked very sick and weak. The woman listened to the leader tell us that she almost didn’t make it last week and how surprised they all were that she showed up because they all believed the Lord was going to take her home (now there’s some faithful believers!) She was pretty young…younger than me I think. That night I prayed God would help her find her faith and give her enough strength to receive her healing. I wanted to pray that out loud while I was there…it was engulfing me. I wanted to ask God to make them all shut up and start to pray in faith for this young mother….but I froze. I just sat there while she listened to the leader talk about how God tests us and puts trials in our paths to bring us closer to Him. I just sat there not doing anything to show her God is love and hope….to tell her that He’s done all He’s going to do and now it’s up to her to ask, believe and receive. I wanted to scream “By His stripes we are healed!“ Instead, I just sat there….not saying anything when the women in the group talked about how sometimes God punishes.….I quietly asked God to forgive me for just sitting there.

I remember walking downstairs to help Lyndi get Tucker out of his Bible class, the Bible class where he is suppose to learn one scripture a week. I walked in and he said…”Grandma….”God is love!”...(his first verse, learned)….I wanted to take him upstairs and say “Why are you teaching the little ones that God is love when you’re up here telling us that sometimes he causes cancer…he takes mommy’s away from children…he wants us to suffer pain and heartache…he wants us to be afraid…he wants us to lose our breath when we walk up a flight of stairs?” I wanted to say ‘ Why aren’t you teaching us that we reap what we sow, that smoking causes cancer, God doesn’t….so we shouldn’t smoke!!!!! I wanted to ask someone if it made any sense that a loving God would put his child in danger just to teach her faith and forgiveness…but I didn’t.

It’s not so much that I was judging these women…maybe they’re hearts were in the right place; however, I do think they are products of their pastors, Sunday school teachers and whoever else they’ve been listening to though.

I drove home with tears in my eyes and multitude of feelings….and then “POOF” I realized from that moment on I would always pray the way God wants me to pray. I heard my poppy’s words from years passed “Krissy, when you’re nudged to pray out loud and you don’t…it’s like telling God “no”. I finally understood what he meant.

So now when I hear something I disagree with concerning my God I don’t set out to try and change anyone; I will give my opinion and from there the best tool I have is to just show my life….my relationship with the Lord…..strong and forever growing. I’ll keep being who I’ve become, who I really am….the person God made.....the person God wants me to be….because I won’t just sit there and let someone slam my Savior

There are some for sure things I need God to tweak in me…things I struggle with…but I don’t beat myself up I remember where I used to be and where I am now and most important I see what my future holds when I stand firm for what I believe in…for who I believe in. I remembered what means most to me….God does….love does….people do….family and friends…I haven’t forgotten all the valleys…but I cling to the joy in my heart because of all of the peaks.

So….be careful who you allow to teach you God’s word…who prays for you…who you let guide you. If you’re confused you’re in the wrong place…..you wouldn’t go to a math class if they kept telling you 2 plus 2 equals 5 would you? I donLyndi stopped attending and I don’t know if that woman from Bible Study is still alive or not….what I do know is she didn’t leave very hopeful….she left ready to die.

Found this in my archives today...Mag turns 21 in 2 weeks.

Magen turned 18 yesterday…


I’ve been preparing myself for the feelings I’m going to experience when she graduates this school year…being the youngest of my three, that whole empty nester thing lands on her shoulders, something I know will be bittersweet. What I didn’t prepare myself for tho' was how I would feel the day she turned 18.  I was consumed with an array of feelings yesterday….from crabbiness to awe.

There were even moments when my eyes would begin to fill up with tears and I would have to turn away from whoever I was talking with,  I know it sounds so silly… I was so not ready for these feelings.

We spent the whole evening together….all of us…and I just kept thinking about how proud I am of my children….how they make me feel like I've done something right.  I don't just love them, I really like them, I enjoy them and I'm proud of who they are.  They actually carry some of the traits I tried to instill in them...all the eye rolling, sighs, huffs and puffs...all the times they bucked me or argued with me, all the times I thought they weren't listening to me, come to find out....they were.….Amazing.

Next spring brings so many new and uncharted paths for Magen…but also for me, it’s been just Mag and I for the last few years and I see her becoming more independent by the day.  It’s a good thing, I know….but sometimes good can be swirled with sad…like a twist cone.  Does that make sense…nope, probably not.

Magen…hmmm,

“She fancies dirt bikes and wrestlers. She owns the property where obedience and judgment calls reside. Her humor is dry but her character swims full force through white caps and singing whales.”

This is my Magen...my Magbag.

Judgment, forgiveness and little blue postcards.

When we imagined our wedding…it was small, quaint and it would be in the Penturen Church….the church in the pines… the first time Kevin took me there he said “This is where I want to marry you.  It's been empty for years, alot of character and history...it's just the sweetest church you'll ever visit.

A few months ago I asked our pastor if he would marry us…in keeping a long story short, he said “No, the church constitution forbids him from marrying anyone who’s been divorced.” He went on to tell me some of the reasons… they hold marriage to a higher standard, they didn’t want to be known as the church who married divorced people, he even went on to tell me to proceed with caution AFTER he told me my reasons for divorce didn’t really matter because it was a blanket rule. I can pretty much assure you God was very sad about his response to me…anyway, that’s behind me…behind us… we are married now and God is very joyful about our union. My reason for telling this short narrative is because today in the mail there was a little blue postcard that said “ We prayed for you today.” signed by the pastor and the youth pastor of the church we USED to attend. We were probably next on the list to receive their prayers and I guess they want  people to know that they prayed for them; however, the whole thing rubbed me the wrong way, maybe because after he declined to join us in marriage I wrote him a lengthy letter and never received a response of any kind.   Talk about feeling like you don't matter!  I’m very particular about who I want to pray for me and it almost freaks me out to think someone who doesn’t know me, know what I need, what I’m seeking or what’s vital to me would converse with God about me. Blanket rules are a lot like going down a list to see who gets prayed for next….unengaged, detached, impersonal and nothing I want to be a part of.

Shopping

We went shopping in Grand Forks the other day....when we go there we make a whole day of it and pretty much buy out the stores...we never make it back  home until late  Of course we have to eat at the Texas Road House because I never had a steak melt  in mouth until I ate there.

I went into to TJ Maxx and I felt a familiar rush of "ahhhh" when I walked through the doors, almost like I was home. A peculiar thing happened though as I shopped...it was like I was coming down from a high.. I began to think about the things that used to make me happy, comparing them to the kinds of things that make me happy now. I used to look sooooo forward to shopping, almost like it was a reward.. now I look at shopping as a necessity. I'm excited about different kinds of things now... about making my home a welcoming place, about tending to a garden and eating the food in it, about spending a day out on the boat reeling in fish, sharing new things with my best friend, laughing with him, making memories with him. Planting flowers, watching the birds in the feeders, seeing wonderment in my grandsons eyes when we spot a critter, hunting has swept me into a frenzy and I feel like I’m a more interesting person than I used to be. My appreciation for nature has wrapped itself around me like I never imagined, I look forward to everyday things so much because everyday brings something new and thrilling. Shopping really has become meaningless to me...almost a chore, did I buy something incrediblly fabulous at TJ Maxx...well duh, where else could you find a red metal woman in the shower???  The thing is though,  I have fallen deeply in love with the wildlife, the green and the laughter that the simple life offers, I feel like I’ve missed out on half a lifetime up here.  Do I miss my old life?  Nope, not for a minute...I miss a few of my girlfriends, but I guess if those relationships are genuine they won't go way.  I get pokes and prods from friends and family back home about being a hick or living up in the boonies, funny how after they visit they always want to come back…a few can’t stay away. They say they like it but they would never want to live here. I’ll tell you why… because they love Wal-mart and they are addicted to convenience. I know…because I used to be them.  I love the people I’ve met, the friends I’m making, the closeness of family...mine and Kevin‘s…and to have all of this and be surrounded by “the boonies” is an awesome blessing.

I sing because I'm happy...

Have you ever wanted to sing just because you’re happy….or catch yourself smiling because you are in this breathtaking place and you’re not sure why you deserve to be there? My relationship with the Lord is on this upswing, I suppose it could be because I’m grateful beyond belief….because though’ I’ve always counted my blessings, now I own a blessing I maybe thought would never be mine. I see God working in my children in small, everyday ways, I feel Him working in me. I still see many areas that need an overhaul and I know I need to continually work on those things, but living my life with God at the helm is a constant reminder that I’m in the right direction, even on those days I mess up.


I think I’ve loved Kevin my whole life…I tease about “pinching myself” but I literally stand in the middle of my yard and gaze all around me and feel a rush of love run through me…I’ll be doing some household chore, look up and see him… and I fall in love all over again, I think he’s beautiful.


We bear baited yesterday and I enjoyed myself so much…riding in the bumpy old Nissan all day…carrying bucket after bucket of bait through the woods over broken down trees (tripping all the while..lol)…moving the big logs on top of the bait…we only did 13 so far but I was tired. He grabs me when I get back to the truck and tells me how good I’m doing…he tells me he loves me and kisses me…when we drive from bait to bait he has his hand on my thigh and says things like “did you ever imagine a year ago you’d be bear baiting?” What I really didn’t imagine is that God actually created a man like Kevin..and more than that…that He created him for me.

I sing because I'm happy...the "twirl around, perma grin" kinda happy.

The week behind and my dragging arse ahead.

Long, nutso week.

Beth was here for the whole week, Lyndi and Jay came up Friday night at our request....not only do we love having them here, but they paint really well!  LOL  My sister, Nikki and her two charges came up Saturday....everyone is gone now and the weeks work has only just begun....not to mention I start with my personal trainer/friend/exercise physco tomorrow at 1pm...today when I asked her what the plan was...ya know, 2 or 3 days a week?  She replied "NO...EVERYDAY!" 

Look out...Kris is comin' back...she's gonna be tired as hell but she's comin' back!

Soon to be bear killer

We have 2 tons of trail mix and 2 tons of fruit snacks in the shop, countless garbage bags full of donuts...I'm unbelievably eager to start bear baiting....outlandishly perplexing, I know.

Grandma and Poppy

It's funny the things we think about when we're sleeping...this morning I opened my eyes and lay there thinking about my grandparents. I was thinking about how Poppy would love Kevin, how he would love it up here...how happy he would be that I was happy. I often think about what my kids missed out on not having Poppy in their life...their lives would have been altered, in a good way… if they had him in the the way I did. My grandma played a life shaping role in my life as well. I spent alot of time with both of them, they were like a comfort food...like fresh sheets off the clothes line, like ginger snaps before bedtime. It was tough when Poppy died...he left way too soon, many things changed when he departed…we lost a key player in our family. Grandma is 90, it will be easier when she goes...I'm more grounded in my faith and although I love her BIG...I will be happy for her on the day Jesus takes her home with Him. I have a lot to be thankful for in my life as a granddaughter. I had a prayer warrior in Poppy...I have no doubt that who I am in Christ is because of the seeds he planted in me, because of the way he watered my relationship with Christ. I'm grateful to them for many things but no gift is a valuable as showing me how to live with the presence of God in my life…they taught me by example. God knew what he was doing when he created the relationship between grandparent and grandchild….I hope I am the kind of blessing to my kids in the way my grandparents were a blessing to my mom. I want to be MY grandma to my grandchildren, nothing in my life was more comforting than being in her arms. Unconditional love is something that never leaves you, even when the givers of that love do.

Appliances and love...hand in hand? You decide :)

I'm going to teach Beth how to can today.  She's eaten more than one whole jar of dilly beans.  It's so humid outside I've been trying to find things to do inside. Should be cooling off a bit by tomorrow, hopefully we'll have the ranger back...she really wants to cruise around.  We bought new appliances they will be here Tuesday so I have painting to get down before then...which first means I have to remove this god awful wallpaper.  I wish Kevin would have helped his ex-wife pick out wall paper...he had to know that his new wife would HATE dark green palm trees!  We went shopping for a well needed washer and dryer....I was over the top ecstatic that we were able to find the set we wanted at a local appliance shop...then he could have knocked me over with a feather when he asked the sales guy what kind of deal he'd give us if we bought a fridge, stove, avanti microwave (that bakes and cooks with light...it's like a second oven on top...yay!) and a dishwasher...all black and touchless stainless steel.   He pulled me close and said "Merry Christmas"  Hard to believe that the reason I love him isn't  because of these "wonderful I can't seem to stop  pinching myself" moments....I love him because of who he is and who he makes me wanna be...I love him because he's so good and kind and compassionate...because his head is on straight and he doesn't pity, he helps, because he honors his mother and father, because he's a good dad...I love him because he opens his life to God and follows where He leads...I love him because he's respectable, forgiving, happy and because faults and all he Genuinely loves me in a way I've never been love...and the washer and dryer being bright red certainly doesn't hurt :)

No Crow crossing!

Everytime I think the noise has stopped I hear rumors of cawing in the next town!

The little boys we love.

Thanking God for little things…like being able to get along with my ex, like actually doing what was best for my  children during a time that wasn't  best for my children... thanking God that I was never selfish when it came to sharing my children...even when I was alone and it was painful.  I’m on the outskirts…watching a custody battle within Kevin‘s extended family, doesn’t matter who wins cause the little guy is gonna lose…sometimes I wonder if anyone cares about that?  It's amazing how in these battles, each parent is so good at seeing the things the other one does wrong….pointed fingers are like death!

I see similar things with my own grandchildren and other little ones in Kevin‘s family.   Kevin and I lift them up to God....we ask God to cover their little ears and eyes from things they shouldn’t hear or see, to have faith that God will intervene when it comes to their security and their emotions.  We show them as much love, fun and laughter as possible....wanting to be only on the side of the little ones.

Family interruptions

Kevin just told me a bit ago we're having a goodbye dinner for his sister Sherri and her family at his parents house....the things I have to do tonight will have to wait til morning. It was nice to spend some time getting to know them these past few weeks... they're great people and have 2 great boys, always smiling and excited to try new things. It's not ideal to be so far away from family but as I'm growing to realize...the appreciation for them is much greater when you're not able to see them everyday. Brandon and Emily showed up a little bit ago...a day early, they're going to run the bait route Saturday morning so Kevin and I can go to my family picnic in Pine City....we'll leave tomorrow afternoon and meet up with my youngest and her boyfriend...one relative leaves another one comes...these little interruptions in my life, the ones I think are going to blow my schedule...well, not only do they always end up being very, very good things...they remind me that my schedule is MY plan for my life...the interruptions are GOD'S plan for my life.

Teach a child

My grandsons love it up here, they get to fish, swim in waterholes, run in wide open spaces, drive through big mud puddles in the ranger...bb guns and bow and arrows, target practice and first kills. How many 6 year olds can say they sit in a deer stand with their grandma? I have another grandchild...I think her name will be Annabella, she's still tucked away in her mama's belly. I say "she" because I really want a pink one. I look so forward to building the kind of relationship with her that I have with my grandboys...I can't wait to buy little girl camo, to teach her the love of fishing and hunting, how to drive the ranger...to show her the awe of fresh laid goose eggs and spotted fawns...to teach her what it means when a killdeer flip flops on the ground...to teach her how to spot a buck scrape, how to bait a bear.  I want to pray with her, teaching her to give God the glory for all these things, for everything we hold dear, everything we enjoy.   I can't wait to set the life example for her that glorifying God and doing unto others makes grandma and grandpa's life full... of love, laughter and adventure...that all great things come from above and that doesn't just mean a secure, appreciative, loyal love...it means happy, fun, excitement and deep down joy...I can't imagine giving my grandchildren a better life gift than that.

.

Empty Chairs

I can’t reflect on anything more colorful than friends and family around a fire pit…laughing white sticky mouths, fireworks, hotdogs on a stick and a chocolate birthday cake eaten by a dog.  Nice weather ushers in all kinds of memories, from yesterday, last weekend….from years gone by.

Bare feet…bare shoulders…bare hearts…bare naked, bear hugs and berry stained butts.  Making mud, making friends, making night air love, promises, laughter and making wishes on twinkling stars.  Basking in sun drops, in black dirt, basking in an open armed sky, in appreciation, forgiveness, basking in moment living and whispered singing.  Warm love, warm sun kissed cheeks,warm garden stained toes, warm feelings, skin and warm blowing green. Thirsty for cold water, for smiling air and sharing, thirsty after sweating…after belly laughing, after loving, after drinking in the familiar.  Thirsty for the new and thirsty after bon-fire sunflower seed eating.  Reaching for the clothes line, for the bird feeder,  for the sky and reaching for wishes …reaching to be better,  to be stronger. Reaching higher and pushing farther. Running through sprinklers, running from a fire cracker, running into the screen door, running through people…”Captain may I?”...and laughing while a racoon runs from a June Berry.

Empty chairs the day after, bring memories of a love filled bonfire.

Oats and Bed Springs

My brain is full of half finished projects, but my focus is blurred with the pasture that hasn't been sprayed yet..which means it hasn't been disked and dragged (we drag with an old bed spring...gotta love it) hence; the oats haven't been planted. We have til the middle of August to get this done...Kevin won't be able to do it this year, moving the minnow building to the shop at home has pretty much overtaken his life as of late...not even sure he has time to teach me how to use the tractor. It's important we provide a food plot for the deer...who knew I would care about such things...so odd. My second hunting season here and I want to rock the stand, fulfill this peculiar desire to put a trophy buck on our wall...a notion I never thought in a million years would have crossed my mind, but then I met Kevin, who introduced me to minnows, pink ice houses, blaze orange and my very first gun!